C.L.A.W. Fight Night 9/13/11 Preview

Posted: September 10, 2011 in Fight Night Preview
Tags: , , ,
Main Event

Pierre Boheme vs. Phoenix Rising

This event will take place Tuesday night, September 13. Promos and strategies for this event are due Monday, September 12 at 12:00 pm EDT. Maximum of 2 promos per participant.

  1. Phoenix Rising says:

    [We see a montage of Phoenix Rising training in the gym. He wears red track pants and his Mexican wrestling mask. “Eye of the Tiger” plays over the video. Cut to Rising, sitting and facing the camera.]

    I’m back, Canada! It’s been too long. Tomorrow night, and I’m bringing the high-flying lucha style you know and love and have been missing. I’ve training hard to make sure I give you the best match I can!

    I wish I can say the same thing about my opponent. While I’m here in the gym, Pierre Boheme is probably in some cafe somewhere, drinking wine and flirting with someone’s mother. You might be some fancy French giggalo, Pierre, but you’re no wrestler. You’re fat and lazy and washed up. I’m half your size and have twice your talent. Tomorrow night I’m going to show the fans who the real star is. You’d better watch the sky, Pierre, cause the Phoenix is diving on you!

    [Cut to more shots of Rising training as “Eye of the Tiger” plays once again and fades out.]

  2. Pierre Boheme says:

    [Pierre Boheme is shown outside a coffee shop, smoking a cigarette and petting a poodle.]

    Sacre bleu! So Phoenix Rising thinks he’s better than me? I laugh at his puny threats and boasts. Huh, huh. I will have you know I am training just as hard as you for our match! [Takes a long drag of his cigarette.] Watch!

    [He pulls out a loaf of French bread and starts doing bicep curls with it.]

    See? This is a special Parisian training technique. When you’re finished with your silly workout, you’ll be all sweaty and smelly and disgusting. When I’m finished my workout, I will have a nice piece of bread and some soft cheese for a snack. And then I will go make love to your mother.

    After I beat you tomorrow night, I will also make love to your mother. And maybe your sister, too. I know they are ugly, but I do it not for pleasure, but to humiliate you. Huh, huh, huh! I will humiliate you in the ring, and then I will humiliate you in your mother’s bedroom!


  3. Phoenix Rising says:

    [Phoenix Rising is running on a beach, still dressed in his lucha mask. From somewhere, inspirational training music is playing. Rising stops to catch his breath and address the camera.]

    Seriously? You’re going to make fun of my mother and sister? What is this, a wrestling match or a schoolyard fight? I’m not going to lower myself to your standards, Pierre.I’m going to go out there tomorrow night and kick your fat French face from one end of the ring to the other. Enough words. You’d better watch the sky, Pierre, cause the Phoenix is diving on you!

    [Inspirational music plays Rising off into the sunset.]

  4. Pierre Boheme says:

    Huh, huh, huh! What kind of coward are you, Rising? Won’t even stand up for your own mother? Who do you think you are? Who ARE you, anyway? You hide your face like some kind of criminal? Are you a wanted man in Mexico? Did you steal silver candlesticks from a church? Did you slap a baby? Or are you just really ugly?

    I will reveal you as the fraud you are! I am the cure to your virus! I am the underclasses that will rise up against your state-funded criminal villainy! VIVE LA RESITANCE! VIVE LA POODLE! VIVE LA FRANCE!!!

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